I Feel Like I am Drowning

I don't know what the deal is! I have had a very hectic, but excitingly blessed week--then, I had the gall to wake up today. I was tired, cranky, and my home was a disaster! I do not function well when this is the case, which seems to me more than less these days. (Just imagine the city trash collectors backing up to your front door to unload the days findings...that would be my home.) What's worse, I didn't care enough today to fix it.
My next dilemma comes from my two youngest girls. One is in a stage where she is only going to do what she wants, when she wants...don't give this to a cranky, pregnant mom. The other, thinks that she needs to know every minute detail of everyones' drama, joy, chaos, and the likes...and, nothing is fair! So I have one brat and one mellodramatic tally-keeper.
For example, the tally-keeper, who has never gotten her name on the board, always thinks of doing sweet things for others yet wants instant recognition...I should give her a horn to toot so all would know her perfectness...IT IS THIS BAD, I promise. She and my oldest both auditioned for our city's local childrens theather wing and the older got a call back to read for a big part. She didn't and it is not fair!!! (say this repeatedly in the whiniest most spiteful voice) When the cast list was posted, Emma didn't get a part and was totally cool about it....the other DID! Then, proceeded to complain about the part she got..UGHHH!!! Proceeding to whine about how it wasn't fair that she didn't get a big kid part. I wanted to sell her to the circus! She doesn't deserve the part! Emma did great! She was the youngest to get called back by like 3-5 years (she is in 2nd grade and the person who got the part was in 7th). She has auditioned for 3 plays in the last year and has the natural knack, my child who got the part, has only auditioned this once. She has major pride issues and they need to be gently, but swiftly broken...I am praying on it.
The other is about to be booted out of her birth-order of 4 1/2 years and made to assume the role of older sister. She loves the idea of a real doll coming to stay for a while, so she is just testing and seeking security, I think.
I think I would love for everything in my home to disappear, like all but one toy until they can be earned back...respectfully.
The bottom line is I am totally off kilter and having a hard time maintaining peace, order, and sanity...and I have not made it priority to reclaim any of these things. So, please pray for me! Pray that I have lots of energy and a cheerful spirit as I whip my family-life back into shape and seek to make strides to create peace, humility, order and security in my home.

Weattbabyit'saboy.....

and he'll be here before we know it! Owen Michael is what we plan to call him! He is a mover and a shaker, and a very determined little guy! He looks great and I can't wait to see him and touch him and hear his little voice. I am soo blessed!

So now, we've got three chickadees and one butterbean! I need help with a new blog name:)

Lots of dishes...

I spent the day cooking for the week...well dinners anyway. After a day in my kitchen I think I need one of these. I think it will make the clean up a little easier...Good night, I am off to scrub and find my counters:)

Free to a Caring Home...(but you'll have to pick them up)

I have these two lovely houseplants. That were given to me by a great friend...I hope she doesn't put two and two together...
Anyway, I have refused to feed or water them (except twice) in, well since July when they made themselves welcome in my dining room. I don't do indoor plants very well...I don't even know what these are called, but they should be called Famine Plants....
They have grown about a foot since I acquired them, they look like miniature palm trees, kindof...I keep hoping that they will kick the bucket but, oh no...they must not like new soil or H2O or plant food...
If you are interested, come get 'em!

I have a celeb. look-a-like...

Molly was playing on BARBIE dot com, earlier this morning and she runs frantically into the dining room, where I am reading and finishing my breakfast. Mom, come here quick! You have the same hair as...this.

Thanks, Molly.

Half-way There!!!

I am officially 20 weeks pregnant! Yay...I am feeling huge....well, I am huge...
I am so excited, I have a little soccer player or dancer who has an affinity for my bladder these days....Sometimes I feel like I am a pin-ball game, with all the bouncing and poking. I love that life is happening inside me.
I am half-way there!

Sorry, Dear, MLK, jr Day is Not That Kind-of Holiday...

Julianna to me: Hey, Mom....where are all of our treats? You know our presents...
Me: Why was I supposed to get you presents?
J: Uh! It is a HOLIDAY! And on holidays you are supposed to celebrate and feast!
Me: Sweetheart, I don't not buy presents in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr.s birthday...We honor him by praying for peace and loving people no matter how they look.
J: Oh....so it is not like Christmas or Valentine's Day?
Me: Nope, sorry.
J: Well can we make dessert for tonight, to celebrate not going to school?
Me: Sure!

Peace and Dailiness...

I have had a yearning in my heart as a mom and wife to live simply and create order and peace....I fail miserably! This is not a sob session, just my heart recorded so that (hopefully) if, I mean, when I have conquered this battle with my flesh, I will have hard copy proof that I did it!

We are a growing family. We are full of love for each other. We all are content in simple living, small things, little things that just remind us that we are loved.

Example: Julianna last week told me that she was the luckiest girl. I asked her why she thought that. Julianna: Mom, who on earth would let the babysitter for her kids, take them out WAAAAYYYYYY past bedtime to play in the snow, in our jammies? And then call back to tell her to make sure they get cinnamon toast and hot chocolate before bed? And you were stuck packing your friends house and there was no snow left for you to play in.

Emma before school, thanked me for making her lunch and braiding her hair. Then, commented on how some little girls didn't have a mom on earth. I almost cried.

I have never afforded the opportunity to take my girls to Disney World. We have only been on one real vacation since our honeymoon over 9 years ago. They have only seen the ocean once. Some families take cruises or spend weeks in their time-shares. What an awesome blessing, I could get jealous...I choose not to, though. I could pass discontentedness on to my girls...look at them, they get to go here for a week, we can't....I try and say things like isn't it awesome how God is blessing them, He blessed us too, we get to....have popsicles and go to the pool! He is sooo good to us.

I am really blessed in the quiet moments at home, creating with my girls, imagining, learning, fixing their hair, going to the zoo, or Fort Discovery....

I have days that are overwhelmingly busy and full of good things...service, time spent with people I love, cooking, cleaning, running errands, carpool, etc...

My goal is to have days that are well thought out. So each thing I do is deliberate and I have the opportunity to invest myself in doing it...and doing it well. My kids are content and well fed and not feeling like I am putting them for 'just one more minute, please.' I have noticed that these things are not the rule in my home...in my sanctuary. God has given me tremendous gifts. A loving husband, who puts our needs first. Beautiful kids, who are not wrapped up in attaining the latest greatest things, they honor people and show concern for people less fortunate than us. They are doers...I get lots of Mom, can we take cookies to the old people? Can we make a picture for our neighbors? Do you think I could give some of my toys to sick kids?...
They aren't perfect...you will witness whining, and complaining...they are humans...but, they are great kids!

My days now are hurry, get up, eat, brush your teeth, where is your coat?, did you brush your teeth, yet? Why haven't you eaten your pancakes...you are going to make everyone late! I can't find your folder, where did you put it?

If I fold this load now and reload, then maybe when I am home from 1:15 to 1:40 I can get it folded and unload the dishwasher....maybe give the bathroom a quick scrub...
Dinner?!, am I responsible for feeding everyone today, too? Oh, no! Emma forgot her PE clothes, do I have time to run them up?

I loathe this part of my life....I have been reading Mitten Strings for God by Katrina Kenison. It so lovingly captures the kind of home and family life I want. I have adopted a few of the ideas as my New Years Resolutions...I strive to attain them...I think I should have been born Amish. (Not that I have the same set of beliefs) I tend to want to run from my duties instead of embracing them and the peace that Dailiness provides...

So, my prayer is that I could embrace dailiness and love the peace and comfort that it affords us. And, I want God to lead me to say no and to be aware of the choices I make and the impact that they will have in my home and the legacy I am spending my life building...my kids!

God bless~

Grateful!

My daughter, Emma is home today. She is not throwing up relentlessly, not an ear-ache, no high fever and body aches. It appears that she has pink eye. I have been so blessed this school year with having very healthy kids. Last year, this was not the case. I personally had never experienced any illness like this.
So, I am grateful! I will take itchy eyes over barfing, fevers and ear drum ruptures!
Now we are off to the pediatricians office:)

We've Been Given a New Year...

...to grow, to be called to change, to experience new things and to recognize our blessings--I have been led to reevaluate how I steward our blessings.

Happy New Years to everyone!

We do have a few goals to attain this year.

1. We want to slow down and live more simply enjoying what we have.
2. No T.V., in our home, unless we have planned movie nights very sparingly. We got rid of cable back in July, but our girls have become DVD addicts...I hated it, so we're doing something about it. (Mike did watch the Fiesta Bowl). Oddly enough, our T.V. is in our room--but our kids have to have permission to go in there so it is out of sight and out of mind.
3. Instead of collapsing in front of the idiot box each evening, I have now pledged that I will read...I love to read, but just couldn't find the time to do it...so now, I have from 8 PM-10PM to do as I wish...that's 350 pages every two evenings or so...I am a fast reader. Anyone have any good reading suggestions?
4. I want to finish eliminating half of the stuff in every room in our home. Sounds challenging but you'd be surprised. I have done our bedroom and the living and dining room.
5. Emma is 7, Julianna is 6 and Molly is 4 I have discovered that my girls are capable of way more than I have previously allowed...I have tried to follow FlyLady's advice for about 5 years now and it works!--But not as effectively if you can't get the whole crew on board. So I have established simple routines for my girls and each afternoon after changing out of school uniforms, snacks and homework, all of us do 15 minutes of choring. They can dust base boards way better than I can- they are closer and don't have a cantaloupe size baby in their bellys'. We buy Method cleaners, so I have no fear letting little Molly spray the bathroom sink and wash it out with a cloth...Things are much more neat and way more manageable around here :).
6. We have household projects that we have to accomplish! First, our kitchen floor is sub flooring:(, the original tile job wasn't laid properly so the day we moved in nearly all of our tiles cracked and popped up...I went to the liquor store, bought the airplane size bottles and made myself a martini sat in the floor and cried. With a new baby on the way and this time next year have him/her crawling...it has to be fixed! I think we are going to lay hardwood. We have to finish painting trim everywhere and I am changing my living room, dining room, kitchen and sun room colors. I want to tone down my colors a little--I love them, I just like change...this is an inexpensive way to get it.
7. I gave all but a few special baby things away (even my crib and changing table), so I need to start acquiring baby gear. (We weren't done, someone needed them and we knew that when we had the need that God would supply everything...two days after we found out, a friend from church had a neighbor who wanted desperately to get rid of a crib...we got it, for free... it is far nicer than our Jenny Lind crib that we gave away...it is convertible all the way to a full size bed.)
8. The hardest one...I would like to work on NOT responding to my kids and their childish behavior with haste. I want to strive to loosen up a bit and let them be...I am a perfectionist and have very little patience...I like the Grinch, can find myself in situations where my heart is two-sizes too small. I pray to be like-minded with my Maker when dealing, teaching, loving, disciplining, wasting time with, feeding, cleaning up after, cooking for and living with my precious souls. After all, I am called to lead them to Jesus, it is in large part my responsibility to see them get there. I KNOW I can't make such decisions for them, but I was called to be a mother to steward my children back to the Father's arms--many times I fall short of offering them the throne room, instead, encapsulating them in bondage of fierce dungeons...With God's help I can be changed and renewed. I carry alot of it from my childhood, how I was dealt with and being forced to act as an adult when I was in 3rd grade. God is healing me of my past and has accepted me lovingly and I want to break the chain and allow the Holy Spirit to dictate and have control over me, not harsh words or ugly memories...Pray for me if you feel led.

It should be an exciting year for us!